Thursday, July 08, 2010
Mr Roy loses his love Chirpy Bose to Paul Oktopus
Mr Roy is dejected and a feeling of helplessness has taken over his luminous personality. His glowing eyes are pale; teeth needs an immediate polishing session at Dr Prashant Rao Bhatodekar, the dentist. He is no more the animated man thumping his belly whenever he comes up with some secretive news. He infact no more comes up with any secretive news except price hike plans by cement companies and fare hike plans by airlines.
What is spelling doom for the rising star of Indian financial journalism? The shameful exit of Argentina that too beaten convincingly by no team other than Germany. Yes the loss of Argentina has given him the shock of his life. After the irritation with Vuvuzela last week, Roy saw his favourite team crashing to a 4-0 defeat.
Roy’s girlfriend Chirpy, who dislikes football, had booked two seats at a posh Bandra club just to give his lover a sense of joy when the Argentine players would have taken off their shirts after thrashing Germany. But destiny and Paul, the Oktopus had other plans. Shit happened and Roy had to handle it. And the sad thing is that he is handling it alone. Why?
Well Chirpy has left Roy for the Oktopus. Not quite literally but it happened. Chirpy who is studying psychology at a Chembur institute is an avid animal lover. Her name itself was comes from an animal function. Chirping or twittering of birds. Since her childhood the cute roly-poly girl would talk incessantly in a birdy manner whether any one listens or not. And so the name Chirpy.
Roy was the only one who would listen to her like an old quiet lazy rooster and that was the point of her attraction for Mr Roy. But after Argentina lost Roy also lost his temper and the first incomplete sentence he murmured was, “kill that Paul Oktopus.”
That’s was it. Chirpy also lost it and slapped Mr Roy in front all the Argentina fans. Chirpy cried and said you and Argentina deserved it. You guys have been talking of killing and frying that poor voiceless animal throughout the match. Paul eto cute. It’s poetic justice. You all are products of shameless capitalism. You talk about ideas, wear Che Guevara t-shirts and hail Argentina. May I know the reason?
Do you have any idea of what is happening to the globe? Climate change, greenhouse gas emission, endangered tigers only 1411 left in India and not to speak of shrinking marine animal pool. Poor Paul may not be there tomorrow because of you men. You all are the same always think of war, killing etc. This chirpy is not your game Mr Roy, you crouching tiger in the disguise of a rooster. I abhor you and declare my relationship with you null and void from this very moment.
I have added Paul Oktopus to my Facebook friends list and he has accepted it. I will rather romance an intelligent creature like him. We will play FarmVille, we will build barns and houses that will adopt cute little animals and not dirty old roosters like you. Chirpy ended her twittering while Roy was yawning and wiping his (-10) powered thick glasses.
Now Roy realized Chirpy Bose has made enough of a scene and the whole Argentina fan club has forgotten the loss of their team and is making fun of him in hushed tones.
Roy in his inimitable style stood up put his hands on his t-shirt just over the eyes of Che Guevara printed on it and said. “See I stand for what I think and don’t bring Che into your Octopus love. And as much biology I remember let me tell you, ‘These Octopuses are invertebrates, shapeless, boneless.’ They are just the kind of men you hate the most.”
Roy despite his immediate disaster management speech actually lost two things in life. His love for football and Chirpy, his cute little bird.
Roy hates everyone these days and doesn’t catch anyone on Gmail chat. He doesn’t have a status message anymore after he removed, ‘Waka waka tis time for Argentina’ last Saturday.
I have been trying to help him coping with the disaster. I found a nervous Roy checking Chirpy's profile everyday on Facebook to find out if she has changed her relationship status from single to be with Paul Oktopus.
I asked Roy what is the future plan action. Roy said, "I will create a group in Facebook called - If 1 million people join this Facebook will remove Paul Oktopus's profile."
I just checked and found one group with the bizarre name of '101 Ways to kill Oktopus Paul / 101 Reasons We hate Oktopus Paul'
What's happening? Who's playing the ball those men or the Octopus?
Photo courtesy: Google image search and funnylifeblog