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Sunday, March 02, 2008

In and out in three months: feeling bad

I'm not lost forever. And if you think I am, you must be tracking me really close... nearly lost in me. Those were my helpless explanations to MS. She's getting married this month end and wanted to know.. was never really interested in her.
She had many admirers, she was like a queen.....It was not that I wouldn't have been interested in her. She turned my head every time she walked by me. But for some strange reason I thought I'll pretend as if I'm lost in my work, or analysing the toughest thing in the world, with no space in my eyes for a beautiful woman, just to avoid her.
It worked for me ....MS would wait till late and one day asked where do I stay. I laughed as we both knew we stay next to eahothers' place, and travel in the same train.
But as a gentleman I did talk all the formal stuff...then she was exited .."oh thats great we will take the same train...the 8.20 (p.m) one from VT. Now I won't be bored for an hour." I too was equally happy such a beautiful woman for company in the train drudgery.
My life had changed... Mumbai's trains and madness was beneficial, as it allowed us to indulge more on ourselves.
It all began in October, just before the Mumbai's inconspicuous winters and we moved together for three-months. A trip to the tiger trail in Kanha, one to Bhuj and weekends at my place. Occasional night roaming in South Mumbai.
Mid-January day she called me tell that someone's to come to see her. Her parents are coming to Mumbai from Indore. I knew she's to get married. I said congrats. She cried. I said we were clear from the beginning that we are not to be here for ever for each other.
She said that's fine "I know that,..but just thought that you will feel bad and will dare to say so," she cried again.
We still went to Matheran (a small hill station nearby) on a weekend trip poured ours hearts on eachother. Tried to say that, "we are mature human beings," and "we will always remain good friends."
This was the time for me get lost in myself again and her to enter into her new relationship. No body was to blame, but we both were sad...feeling bad. But friends now poke at us and and out in three months...

1 comment:

sadak chhap said...

do you know people read this